Silly Sunday

Mom, Dad, Ava, Ian and I are spending a nice, leisurely Sunday together. Mom just got out an old box stuffed to the brim with letters and cards from us kids, dad and friends from over the years. One old card I made for her (circa like 1990) said, "This is one of those things I expect you to keep forever." I guess she took it pretty seriously.

She just pulled out this "press release" I wrote as a joke a long time ago. I guess it's still pretty funny, so I thought I'd put it here in case you think it's funny too.

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For Immediate Release

MOTHER'S LACK OF EMAIL SENDS DAUGHTERS INTO TANTRUM
Severely bored daughters tired of seeing empty email in-box

February 6, 2001 - Portland, Ore. - Jennifer and Darcy DeBok, two intelligent, beautiful and talented women from Portland, are upset that their mother, Rhonda DeBok of Tucson, Ariz., has not sent them email yet this week. Unless the daughter's memories serve them wrong, mother DeBok may have a lot of explaining to do to the girls.

"I'm never wrong! I'm sure that she has not emailed me yet this week!" exclaimed Darcy DeBok, a world-renown PR pro and self-proclaimed princess. "It's quite possible that Mom has completely forgotten us and has now decided to give all her love to her two dogs, Old Decrepit and Mr. Whiz."

"If I don't get an email from her soon, I'm afraid that I will be forced to develop several other food allergies," said Jennifer DeBok, a technical recruiter that will soon make the leap into the newly founded un-tanning industry. "In fact, I think that without my mother's constant love and attention I will just have to pack up my trusty partner Sydney and move to Asia where I can finally fulfill my dream of becoming a small Asian woman."

The girls believe there may be several reason why their mother has yet to send them her treasured, and usually reliable, weekly email. Darcy believes that Rhonda has officially joined the Church of Costco, a sect that entices its victims by offering mass consumption of unnecessary but hard-to-resist merchandise. "I can already see her in the religious red-vested attire," said Darcy. "Although, I have a hard time believing she could find solace in super-sized dish detergent for long without her darling daughters."

The patriarch of this family is Lowell DeBok, self-admitted marginal dresser and work-o-holic, claims that the girls need to simmer down. When interviewed, Lowell was able only to step away from his new cactus obsession long enough to say, "No guts, no glory girls." Jennifer and Darcy fear that their father may be too wrapped-up driving and hauling "stuff" in his new pickup to recognize their mother's neglect.

Until their mother decides to return her attention to her daughters, Jennifer and Darcy will be waiting vigilantly by their email in-boxes, waiting for the moment that they will hear from their beloved mother. Until then.... No email = Bad Mommy!

For press inquiries only, please contact:
Darcy DeBok, Marketing Goddess, DeBok Communication, 555-Princess

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